Do I Really Believe?
[By B. H.]

I was blessed to be raised by Christian parents and at a congregation that had a lot of people and support, including a significant number of kids my age throughout my childhood. People who have found God’s Word and the church later in life or via other circumstances often say or think that it must have been easier or that it was an advantage and they wish they had been as lucky.

There is some truth to the advantage. The opportunity to learn about God was always readily available. Many of the people in my life were trying to find and follow Jesus. But there are three specific things that stand out in my mind that were particular challenges for myself and likely many others who had similar upbringings.

The first challenge was that of coming to a belief of the Bible for myself, something I still struggle with occasionally. Think of all human history, all the belief systems and religions that have existed, all the religious texts, all the cultural influences that impact societies, think of the number of humans who have ever lived. You’re telling me I was born into an environment that was offering the ONE and only true way? The odds are not in your favor.

Converts from outside a belief system can tend to have an enhanced conviction having come from the outside, but when born on the inside, people often fall back on what is comfortable. Indoctrination is problematic and being raised in a certain environment is going to build bias, which leaves people uncritical of their beliefs.

Dealing with the following questions have been hard in my life. Was I really that lucky? Every other religious way is wrong and I just happened to be born into a situation that offers the truth? Am I believing this because my family does or for the familial repercussions if I don’t? Being raised from birth and taught at home and in every Bible class with the assumed fact there is a God that created everything makes it hard to critically, and for your own conviction, to truly ask if there is a creator. Is God real? Is the Bible the revealed word of God or have I just read it for so long, I inherently trust it?

The second challenge was that the actions of those around me didn’t always follow God’s teaching. People are often quick to point out others’ sin while neglecting their own. People can often misinterpret what God’s word says, which leads to incorrect beliefs, habits, and traditions that people act out for years and pass on but are sinful and due to their longevity and uncriticized existence are hard to convince others to change.

One example is congregations offering the Lord’s Supper twice. On Sunday morning the majority of the congregation partakes and then in the evening only the people who missed the morning gathering partake. I grew up in a world where every congregation I attended and visited did it this same way. Dozens of congregations, thousands of believers. Everyone, including family, just goes along with it. I don’t recall anyone ever asking…is this Scriptural? It’s clearly a violation of the teaching and sentiment of 1 Cor. 11.

Men’s meetings are another example. Every congregation without elders that I knew was doing business that way, we’ve done it that way. I’m guilty of going with the flow. My point is that people need to be more critical of their beliefs and actions and that is often harder if you were raised on the inside. I know this because you can say the truth, like the Lord’s Supper issue, and people just shrug and continue on doing what they’ve always done.

The third challenge for me was related to evangelism through my school years, specifically high school and college. Two things were really demoralizing as a Christian teen for me. Thankfully, I didn’t feel totally alone because we had a large group in my hometown. In Vermont, that is much harder.

The first issue was when I would encourage a school friend to visit services, they visited regularly, were baptized, a process that took months or a year and then a month or two after, they quit. The number of times I saw that happen with my own friends, or other Christian teen’s friends, makes me sad. Why did they do it? Did they really believe? Were they doing it out of friendship? Where do we go from here? What else could I have done?

The second issue is something I saw in my family, and many other families, related to dating. We had a large teen population at our local church and at other congregations in the surrounding area where I grew up, but dating often goes beyond such walls. Soooo many times I saw people show interest in God and his Word, many to the point of baptism, but as soon as the dating relationship with the Christian ended they ejected from the church. Why? Were they in it for the wrong reasons? Did they not want to deal with the awkwardness? Did they not have enough support from other people beyond their boyfriend/ girlfriend?

I don’t say all this to share discouraging thoughts. I say it to share the challenges of Christians that were lucky enough to be raised in an environment of opportunity. None of us have had it easy, whether it’s our own conversion or that of others’. If someone said it was easy, or seemed easy, I’d ask if they really believe.