Cameron’s Continuing Chiastic Conversion(s)
[By Cameron Piner]
When Paul was before the Jews in Acts 22, he chose to tell them his personal conversion story. When Paul was before Agrippa in Acts 26, he almost persuaded Agrippa by telling his own testimony. The man who had been possessed by demons in Mark 5, was told to go tell others about what great things the Lord had done in his life. So, now I am going to tell you about how God has worked in my life, why I became a Christian, and how God has continued to change me. I believe that there are two important things that people need to discover and recognize, before their heart is ever ready to be converted to Christ. They can happen in various orders, but a conversion can’t happen until both things have been made clear to that person. A) They need to understand the truth of the gospel; and B) They need to recognize how much they are in need of that gospel. My story is no different. However, my “conversion story” doesn’t end when I had my sins washed away in baptism. I have continued to grow and be changed throughout my life, and sometimes that came by repeating that process of those same two steps, even if it was in an inversed order: B’) Recognizing how much I needed to change; and A’) Coming to an understanding of the truth. This is the story of my “continuing conversion(s)” told through a chiasm (A, B, B’, A’).
A – I was born into a family of Christians. My dad was a preacher, my grandpa was a preacher, and I can trace back a long line of dedicated Christians in my family tree. So, from an early age, my parents taught us about God. I quickly learned about the biblical plan of salvation, how it worked, what needed to be done to receive God’s grace, and explanations of why any other path to salvation was incomplete or false. I believed in God, in Jesus as the Christ and the Son of God, and in the truth of the gospel message. I knew that one day I would become a Christian through repentance, confession, and being baptized for the remission of my sins. However, I still wasn’t baptized… yet. Why? I guess that while I understood the truth of the gospel, I didn’t fully grasp how much I needed that gospel.
B – As I grew up, I quickly became aware that I was not perfect. In fact, I was quite the rebellious child. I recognized that I had sin, but still didn’t feel the urgency of having that sin washed away, because I knew that one day I would become a Christian. I think one reason that I had never really considered being baptized, was that I knew that my older brother had not yet been baptized at that time, so I guess that I felt that I could wait and “my turn” would come later. Then one year, I was at a summer camp, when a friend of mine got baptized. The thing that stuck out most about that, was that she had an older sister who had not yet been baptized. I began to realize, that there was no real reason for me to be waiting. Later that week, my cabin was supposed to be having a cabin devotional, but we chose to spend the time singing hymns instead. I don’t remember what specific songs we sang that day, but, whatever songs they were, the words of each one pierced my heart. We were singing things like, “I’ve been redeemed,” “my sins were washed away,” “all to Jesus I surrender,” “prepare to meet thy God,” “is thy heart right with God?”, “O why not tonight?”, “what will your answer be?”. Song after song I realized that I couldn’t sing these songs. I was NOT redeemed. I was NOT forgiven. I was condemned to die. I was not ready to meet God. I finally saw the need to obey the gospel. I’d understood it all before, at least academically and in theory, but I had never understood the seriousness of my condition. I talked with various adults for awhile, including calling my parents, and everyone kept telling me that I could wait one day so that camp would be over and then I could have my mom and dad there for my baptism. But, our camp was on a mountain, with a thirty minute drive down twisty roads on the side of cliffs. So, I kept responding that I couldn’t wait, because if the car crashed on the way down, then I wasn’t ready to meet the Lord. So, I was baptized that night in a swimming pool, and had my sins washed away. The relief and joy was incredible, and it was one of the only times that I have ever cried out of pure joy. Because I finally understood, not only the truth of the gospel, but also how much I needed that salvation which was offered in the gospel.
B’ – So, I had my sins washed away. I was a Christian. Great, now I’m good to continue going to worship, reading my Bible occasionally, and coast my way through life. I was not a dedicated Christian, but I was content to be an “average” Christian. Do what was expected of a young Christian, but nothing more. I hadn’t realized that my “conversion story” was not over yet. God was going to do so much more changing in my heart and in my life. But before I could change, before I would allow God to mold me into His image. I first had to realize the need to commit myself fully to Him. Thankfully, God was not going to let me stumble around until I got my act together on my own. An older preacher reached out to me at a singing one time and made some jokes about how many cookies I ate, but then he began to talk about spiritual things with me. He became a mentor to me, which I really was in desperate need of at that time. He made me aware of the fact that God expects more than passive Christianity. God expects our entire heart, soul, mind, and strength to be devoted to Him. I finally realized that I needed to be more. I needed to become a Christian who was passionate about Jesus. The rest of my high school years were spent devoting almost all of my time to finding Bible studies to participate in, to finding opportunities to teach the Bible to whoever would listen (my younger brother, younger teenagers, older teenagers, college groups, adults through sermons and classes, and even door knocking contacts). My heart was dedicated and passionate about God, and I was going to be a living sacrifice for Him.
A’ – And now we’re back to truth. But, didn’t I understand and believe the truth of the gospel? Sure, but something began to bother me as I spent time with more non-Christians. I understood why they didn’t know about the truth of the gospel, because they were raised in families that taught them something else, and they needed to overcome that upbringing. But, if there is such a small amount of people in the world who have the truth, then how “lucky” is it that I was born into one of those few families? Or, maybe I was just being arrogant and stubborn in my ways, like I was accusing my non-Christian friends of being. I hadn’t searched for the truth, I just accepted the truth that I had always been presented. It made sense, it all added up, but what if I was missing something? So, I began to search for the truth, and not just in one place. I wanted to find out if there was any other option that had the truth. I’ve considered evidences and arguments from Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, various denominations of “Christian” beliefs, and even read a book by the atheist scientist, Stephen Hawking. At first, people around me were not comfortable with me questioning, because to them it meant I was abandoning the truth. But, I was not afraid of questioning, because if I’m seeking for the truth when I already had the truth, then I’ll find it to be the truth. But, if I didn’t have the truth, then I wanted to find it. And the more I searched, the more convinced I became that I DID have the truth. That no other kind of faith or religion held up under scrutiny. All the evidence that I could find, every argument that I considered, it all pointed me back to the Bible and to Jesus the risen Messiah. Now, I am more convinced and convicted than ever of the truth of the gospel.
So, that’s my story. That is how God has worked in my life, and why I am a Christian. I was taught the truth, I realized my desperate need for the truth, I became convicted that I needed to give God everything, and I considered other options to confirm my belief in the truth of the gospel. I hope that my story inspires you to consider the truth of the gospel and how desperately we need His salvation. And I hope that you too will be convicted of your need to give your entire life in service to God, while constantly examining the truth of His word.